Thoughts

Ever since my mom left, life around here has been pretty much like groundhog day (very much agree with you Amy Clark)! I have begun to notice that with each new year, the life of summer sales becomes more and more challenging and difficult for me to enjoy. Nonetheless I try to stay as positive as possible, support my hard working husband, and find the good! Pregnancy can make this almost impossible at times as my emotions run wild and I cry at the drop of a hat! Being a summer sales wife can be so lonely...we are away from family, we have few to no friends, and I probably see my husband only for a few hours a day- right when we wake up and right before we go to bed! Sundays are really the only day we have together....and boy is it a much needed day of rest for him! I find solace in any and all adult conversation...the smiles and laughter of my beautiful Brooklynn...my long bubble baths...the understanding, sympathy and support of my mom (love our almost daily phone chats)...and the love and embrace from Paul whenever my tears begin to flow (which is a fairly usual thing these days). It absolutely amazes me how positive and optimistic Paul always remains. He has taught me a lot this summer about ALWAYS finding the good in others...battling our own weaknesses on a daily basis...focusing less on the mote in others eyes and more on the beam in our own... counting our blessings and searching out opportunities to bless others with what the Lord has blessed us with! I've said it before and I'll say it again....I have no idea how I ended up with such a catch! I thank my Father in Heaven everyday for my Paul William. He is such a true gem...and as my Aunt Bren would say...a modern-day stripling warrior!

This life of a summer sales wife, as I imagine with many other jobs, has its ups and downs, benefits and pitfalls, good and bad times! The light at the end of the tunnel...the "off season" is what mainly gets me through the summer. Meanwhile, the summer time leaves me with a lot of time. Time to do the laundry, cook the meals, bathe the child, run errands, etc (at least when I am not laying on the couch as nauseous as can be with a baby)...but it also leaves me with a lot of time to think. I have enjoyed the moments I have had to myself to ponder my life....the future...the past...goals...etc. Lately most of this time has been spent thinking about 3 things: creating a heavenly home, baby #2, and relationships.

Since we finally bought ourselves a house, and can have a permanent address from now on (mind you in 4 years of marriage, we have moved 12 times), I am really getting excited to make our "home". We closed on our house the day we moved to Texas, so we were able to move in big furniture but everything else is in bins and boxes in the garage...we are no where near settled! But the thought of doing so when we get back from this summer, has really got me thinking about the kind of home I want to create for my family...the environment and atmosphere I want my children to grow up in. My mom turned me on to an article in the June Ensign in regards to remembering what an important work it is we do as wives and mothers and how we can better align our day-to-day actions and attitudes with gospel centered truths. In this article it encourages us women to focus on what we do well, not to run faster than we have strength, try to keep the big picture in sight, keep perspective, make time for writing and studying, and to take time away from the kids to spend time with our eternal companion. I have made a more vigilant effort to do such and have recommitted myself to these goals so that I can be the best mother and wife I can be. I know with the Lord's help, he will direct me in ways I have never thought of and strengthen my weaknesses, for he is a partner with me in this great work, which I am so grateful to be apart of!

Baby #2 has brought about more emotions than I could have possibly imagined. When Paul and I decided that it was time to try for another little one, I was beyond anxious and excited. ..Super "baby hungry" if you will. And while I am more than thrilled the Lord is blessing us with another one of His children to raise here in mortality, those feelings are also partnered with nerves, a little sadness and more mixed emotions of future plans. My sickness or "allergy to pregnancy" as my mom puts it, really took a toll on me this time around. It changed my attitude from wanting a huge family, to taking our family one pregnancy and one baby at a time. It has also brought more tears of joy and living in the moment with my Brooklynn as I realize she will be the only one for just a few more short months! That brings a cloud of sadness as I think about closing the door to one chapter in our lives and opening the door to a new one! I have always been keenly aware of what change brings in our lives and have always embraced change, proposed change, and this time was no exception to that, but when reality hits and dreams are no longer just thoughts in our heads or written or spoken words, but actually a physical and tangible reality, perspective and understanding can change a little. Its not a good or bad thing but a lesson I have learned, mostly because for my entire life I have always been so anxious and excited for the next phase in my life, that I was unfortunately never very good at living in and enjoying the moment, or phase of life I was currently in. From now on, I intend to be better at that. Lastly, baby #2 brings on thoughts of future trimesters, labor and delivery. With Brooklynn, I was just so excited and because I had no idea what to expect I was somewhat naive to the whole experience. This time around I KNOW what to expect and as a result, I am much more nervous...plus this time around I will have 2...not just 1. What helps me calm the nerves is thinking back to the emotions I felt with Brooklynn, as the Dr. told me I was fully dilated and I knew within minutes I would finally set sight on this little one I had been feeling and loving for so many months! And then the immediate bond I felt with her and the love I had for my Paul as we held our little girl, our creation for the first time! What a powerful experience! Phew... I have no doubt that our Savior has a plan for each of us and that these children He is blessing me with to carry and rear are in His plan for me. I am grateful for that opportunity and grateful to have an eternal companion who desires the same as I do and embraces the challenges, emotions, joys, and responsibilities of raising our family together in love and righteousness! I love my family with all of my heart! XOXOX

And finally ending with the time I have had to think about relationships. This past year has been a challenging one for me when it comes to my relationships with both friends and family members. I have learned a lot about myself, my needs and desires, and a lot about others, their needs and desires. I have come to a realization that I can only truly know the heart and intent of myself and not others, but that with Christ's help, and sometimes this has meant many mornings and nights on my knees pleading with him, I can see others through His eyes! I can be given clarity, peace, understanding, and the ability to forgive and be forgiven through Him. I have learned that we are all struggling to fight off the temptations of the natural man and that at times we do indeed fall. However I have also learned that we are all desiring to be better people, overcome our own weaknesses (which vary tremendously from person to person), and look out for our own families...especially new ones which we are starting to grow and create. I realize that we live in a world with tremendous pressure...where that pressure comes from I'm not sure...other than I think I develop it within myself....and that pressure sometimes erupts in ways we are not so proud of. From these tests I have faced, I am trying to ALWAYS see the good in others, and give them the benefit of the doubt, as I would hope they would do for me. I am trying to let things roll of my back more easily and not become offended or hurt, as I realize others are most likely not intending to do so, but rather it is an action or feeling I can choose to deny. I am trying to be less judgemental, as I would hope people don't judge me. I am truly learning the principle of love and the commandment to love our neighbor as thyself. The Lord does not expect us to only love the ones who love us, who bless our life, who make us happy, which is easy and natural, but He expects more out of us... He expects us to love our enemies too..."bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you" (Matt 5:44). I admit this is not always easy and I have had many, many sad, tearful conversations with my loving husband in regards to many situations this past year...along with many prayers for my Savior to help me be a better friend, sister, daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, wife, and mother. These thoughts have led me to recommit myself to do better, along with an apology to any whom I have hurt in my struggle to overcome. I am sure this will be a life-long battle for me, but it is my prayer that with His help I will endure and overcome!

I know that everyone in my life wants to be the best in whichever role they play (i.e. wife, mother, husband, father, sister, brother, son, daughter, friend, etc...) and are always striving, as am I, to reach their potential as a son or daughter of God...therefore my sincerest desire is for us all to get along. I am sure our Father in Heaven looks down upon us at times and weeps at the way we treat each other! I don't want to make Him cry anymore! I know we all can get caught up in our own lives, our own perspectives, but it is my hope as these thoughts have consumed many of my days, that we can learn to see His perspective and love the way He loves.

So Sad

My mom's visit here came and went! She is already back in California and life here is quiet. It was so nice to have her here to make meals...clean...give me emotional support and keep me company! It's the best 10 days I have had all summer! I am so grateful she could come and that my family back home was willing to sacrifice her to me for that long! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so much! Can't wait to see you again in a few months!

These days...

Everyone is noticing how big Brooklynn is getting. I always say it happens so fast! She has developed quite the little personality too...much like her daddy! She is becoming more and more independent as well. She is learning how to stab her own food with her fork and eat it all by herself! She is usually a mess afterward but that's to be expected. She is saying many more words...feels like a new one each day! She is communicating better with us but still will whine or fake cry when she is tired! But we love her oh so much in all her moments!

Grandma in the pool with Brooklynn and Roman!

All ready for daddy's Pool O' Cash!

CHEESE! I'm ready for church mommy!

This is what B looked like after a nap the other day! I have no idea what she was doing...
she has never done anything like this before with her clothes! It was so cute!

I turned my back for a minute the other day and found her like this...in her toy bin! I'm not sure how she got in there because she is not a good climber!
She can't even climb up on the couch yet...she will say "help" or "up" when she wants to sit on the couch!

13 Weeks

So finally I have started to feel a little better...at least enough to get ready with make-up and go to church! I'm sure it was in large part to having my mom here to nurse me back to health...or at least a little more strength!

These pictures were taken at 13 weeks...yes I have already started to show! It just popped out last week while my mom was here. I could feel it coming...I was uncomfortable and wanted absolutely nothing on my belly or waist! I'm sure many of you can relate! And I have actually started to feel the baby too...a little swimmer inside is how I would best describe it.

We went to the Dr. on Monday and heard the heartbeat... 152! Then came home and checked the Chinese Calendar cause B's heartbeat was ALWAYS 160+ and it said I should be having a boy! We'll see in about 3.5 more weeks! I think Paul and I would both really like to have another girl (although we would love a boy too), but we both think it is a boy! It seems like when I had B everyone was having girls...now it seems like everyone we know are having boys! Weird how that works out!

This week has been the best I have felt in 9 weeks! WAY more good moments then bad ones...so hopefully we are in the clear...fingers crossed! Time is not going by fast but maybe now that I am doing a little better it will.

This was our attempt at taking a family picture for Gramps for his Father's Day gift...
However B would not smile and I CANNOT stay standing in one spot for very long...
I literally had to quit the photo op and sit down asap because I started to black out...
almost passed out...So dad we will try again soon for another family picture to send your way!

Pic while mom was here! I hate this stage of pregnancy where you just look more fat...like I have put on a little weight...but I have only put on one pound!

4th of July

Like I said... I have been quite the slacker when in comes to picture taking and the 4th was no different. But even though there is a lack of pictures to capture our day we did in fact have a great celebration! The best part was having Paul home for most of the day. He was home about 3:30...unheard of in summer sales but they were on the doors early to make that happen! Plus they had a great day in terms of sales for the 4th so we were all happy! The other best part was that my mom was here to join in the festivities as well. And it was the first day in 9 weeks that I actually felt good! It was pretty much a miracle! I was so happy about that!

We found a great little place about 30 minutes away from here, Rosenberg, TX where there was a family friendly celebration! Great music...plenty of space for the kids to run around...food...rides...the works!

My mom and I packed a delicious little picnic and bought some chairs and umbrellas for shade and we all headed out! It ended up that most everyone from the office came to the same place so it was fun!

Brooklynn ran around almost the entire time! She LOVED it all! It was a much different scene this year than last because last year B was the only baby...this year with all our friends there we had 7 babies/kids...it was crazy! It kept us adults much busier than before...couldn't just sit down and have a conversation the entire time! New phase of life for most of us now and I know we wouldn't have it any other way!

Brooklynn loved the fireworks...didn't scare her one bit. She was mesmerized the entire time! It was a long day however...she was asleep in her carseat before we got out of the parking lot!

Happy Birthday USA!

Brooklynn and daddy on the LONG horse and buggy ride!

Brooklynn loves these little umbrella strollers...I need to get her one!

Some of the gang waiting for the fireworks to start!

LONG DAY...both Grandma and B were OUT like a light!

Office Pool O' Cash

One of Paul's favorite incentives to do for his guys is the Pool O' Cash....where he dumps quarters and dollar coins all over the pool and the guys dive into the pool gathering as much cash as they can in the time allotted them based on their sales from the previous week! It is fun to watch!

We also had a BBQ...I passed on the cheese filled hot dogs and steak and burgers cause meat does not do well with me these days but Brooklynn loved the chips and Twinkies!

Paul kicking Robbie in once it was his turn!

Micah was in for the count! (Great picture..haha)

Micah and Brett waiting for their time to come...

Brandon was totally prepared...goggles and fins!

All the guys preparing their strategies of collection! So serious!

Barlow, Blake and Micah

Showing off the cash!

The dollar bills DID NOT go in the pool!

Mike showing off...he had a minute and forty second head start above everyone else

Just a great afternoon...different from the norm!
Good job guys!

I'm still alive...barely!

Well if you haven't noticed I have been MIA for quite sometime now! I apologize to all our family who haven't been able to see any recent pictures of Brooklynn lately because I have had such a hard time for the last 8+ weeks! It is an understatement how much you appreciate the blessing of health when you are so miserably sick! To update with the pregnancy I have decent days and bad days and those days are divided up into both extremes of moments where I feel functional and moments where I feel guilty, sad, uncomfortable, nauseous, queasy, just plain old sick. I have officially completed my first trimester, but for me, that does not mean I am in the clear of sickness. I am still on my Zophran (the same medication given to cancer patients when going through chemo), which helps me to keep my food down but there are still many moments where I have to play mind over matter and focus extremely hard not to loose whatever I have eaten. I am quite proud of how strong I have become in controlling my body although it is not easy or comfortable in the slightest. I have been sooooooooooo grateful for Paul's understanding, sympathy and extra help these past several weeks...along with my new friend Joslyn who calls me everyday and has helped in many ways. Our sweet Relief Society out here also brought in some meals to us which was amazing and very much appreciated. Most recently though I have been the most grateful to have my mom here with us! There is nothing like having your own mom around to help and make everything better! I am so blessed with such a sympathetic, nurturing and self-less mom! I cannot begin to describe how nice it has been to have her here! I am dreading the day she leaves...which is rapidly approaching!:(

In other Giddings news this summer has been filled with ups and downs...when is a summer not? But overall I feel incredibly blessed and so proud of the man I married. He is such a hard worker, a positive person and has the biggest heart of gold! I was just talking with my mom the other day about how wonderful Paul is and if I make it to the celestial kingdom one day it will be because of him! He has so many Christlike qualities I desire and hope with his influence one day I will achieve. Sometimes I still wonder how I was so blessed to end up with him for FOREVER! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Now to turn to the one who makes my days worthwhile....Miss Brooklynn, who really has turned into such a big little girl...although she will always be my baby! Her comprehension of things grows leaps and bounds everyday! It is so much fun to teach her new things!She has even been going to nursery lately and loving it! Doesn't cry when we leave and the leaders say she is just a gem! She has sprouted several more teeth...pretty soon she'll have her whole mouth full! She mostly looks like a mini-me, but is full of her dad's personality...goofy faces, laugh, smiles, and all! She can't help but to brighten your day! She is obsessed with books and loves to give the baby in mommy's tummy kisses...complete with sound effects and all...muah! She is also becoming more and more of a daddy's girl. It is the cutest thing to see her say goodbye to Paul in the morning with loves and snuggles around his leg and to run to him at night when he returns (if she is not in bed yet!). During the day she will bring me the phone and say "daddy", which means she wants to call and talk to him, and if by chance my phone rings...she ALWAYS thinks and hopes its daddy! SOOOOO cute! Recently she has also become obsessed with dancing...she'll dance in circles, shimmy her shoulders, clap, bounce, lift her leg up, the works...so we were not surprised to discover she enjoys watching "So You Think You Can Dance" with mommy and daddy! Maybe next year we will start her up in some cute little dance classes!

I have been a slacker in all things since this pregnancy took over my life...and that includes pictures! Here are a few recent ones however:

B loves swimming with daddy!

B with her friends Emma and Lucy...awhile back

So happy Grandma is here!

I tell Brooklynn to smile...and she does! Love her! Look at those cheeks!

B and mommy at the pool just the other day!



Now this video is one of my favorites of Brooklynn so far. This is what my days and nights are filled with! I love it! Yes...our house is becoming a little louder these days... I think she inherited my high-pitched voice!